Wow. She was amazing.
You met at the bonfire and couldn’t hardly sleep that night thinking about her.
The next day you found her on fbook and then messaged her and got her number.
You went out on a few dates and there were just sparks like crazy.
After a few dates, you even kiss her!
Things are going so well…until one day about two weeks into this, you go to another bonfire and meet someone else. You ignore the text of the first girl and slowly stop calling her back as this new girl starts to envelop your thoughts.
And by the beginning of week three, the first girl is a distant memory, a story, and another tally when you are asked how many people you’ve kissed.
On the subject of falling out of love, I can’t comment. I’ve been in love a few times and each time, the conclusion has been involuntary.
But on getting over liking someone, ah, this blog has volumes on that.
I’ve found there are typically three reasons why we fall out of like:
- Something is wrong with them. Before you go off about this, it is important that you do this one task: write down specifically WHY you don’t want to date them anymore. Share it with a couple of people and see if you really are incompatible with them or if you are victim of the second reason.
- Something is wrong with YOU. Yes, you have issues, my friend. You fake date. You look for crushes instead of foundations. You are not over that ex. You have daddy problems. Or….you don’t think you have issues, in which case, you are in denial. Whatever the case may be, make sure you fix you to a point that you can let someone into your heart and life. You don’t have to be perfect, but workable. I promise it isn’t as scary as people think it is…or so my therapist tells me.
- The relationship is wrong. Ah, the indescribable, irrational and irritatingly honest, ‘not sure why, but just don’t feel right about it’ thing. It really is a real thing (sometimes). And as long as you are being honest with number one and two, I would take this for a decent answer. BUT BUYER BEWARE: if you abuse this, you will be held accountable at the last day (a.k.a. when you turn 31 and are kicked out of a singles ward).
So remember to use caution when throwing a crush into the wind. It might just be the perfect seed to your soil if you would but ‘Alma 32’ that relationship.