Should Guys Ask Out Girls on SECOND Dates at the End of a First?

Gentlemen, gentlemen, gentlemen…[eyebrow rub]

[pause for a slightly condescending glare over the glasses]



How do I put this?




Just stop.


You are bold enough to ask her out, smart enough to plan a great date, cordial enough to be a fun time, calm enough not to do something stupid…and then you blow it all at the doorstep. You might as well take off your shirt and show her you have a heart shaved in your chest (which, incidentally, is not a great way of getting a second date #personalexperience).


Open curtain:

“I had a great time,” you stammer.

“Me too…” she replies.

“Would you like to go on a second date?”


This is about when cupid wants to throw a brick at your face.


Possible scenarios with that question:

  1. she had a good time and is excited you asked her out.
  2. she had a good time but now you seem too eager and she is questioning if she really had a good time.
  3. she had an okay time and needed a good’s night rest to let the date set in before making her decision and now feels undue pressure and that you like her too much and is a little weirded out.
  4. she did not have a good time but awkwardly says yes and is forced to go out with you again.
  5. she did not have a good time and tells you no on the doorstep and you don’t go on dates for a couple of weeks and talk about this mean girl who told you no.




So what do you do? Let’s try this again.


“I had a great time,” you stammer.

“Me too…” she replies.

“Would love to do it again sometime. [no wait for response] But have a great night and good luck with [insert something from conversation to show you were listening]!”

[Both laugh]

[Night hug]

[Drop the mic and walk away]


Boom. Nailed it.


Be proud of yourself, you just successfully navigated the trickiest waters other than a first kiss–the first doorstep scene.


Pat yourself on the back and go hop on Tinder for an ego boost…you deserve it.


Remember, you can assume it is okay, but never ever ever ever ever (rarely) ask a girl out on a second date at the end of a first date.


Always appropriate to tell them that you had a good time and would love to do it again, but to set up a second date right there…? Poor form.


But hey…then again, I’m 28 and single…what do I know? Let’s see what you guys said.
I polled a few places on Facebook and received 135 comments (44 being from @joshguessed…follow him for a myriad of semi-sporadic updates if you haven’t had enough of him) and here is the breakdown.


second date infographic

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