How She Got OUT of the Friendzone – A Bitter/Sweet Ending

surprise kiss

“And then…she just kissed me.”

 

We have all been there.

 

We like someone but aren’t sure to the extent that we like them so it remains in this lukewarm awkward phase where nothing will bake until someone turns up the heat in a dramatic way.

 

See, I liked this girl, but the tempestuous task-master of time had not put us on the same proverbial shift. I was interested when she was occupied, she was intrigued when I was unavailable. Then I finally got to ask her out…but I was a day late, if not a dollar short.

 

After eons (in single-standard time) of back and forth, we were finally single at the same time…but the feelings were so…odd. After years of maintaining a pseudo-friend-based relationship built on future expectations and “what if”s, it was just so bizarre. I felt like a kid who was given cupcakes and chocolate frosting and told to go decorate them in the off-limits greeting room reserved only for home teachers.

 

It was just too much.

 

We went out, baked, talked, texted and did everything that you are supposed to do when you like someone…but I just couldn’t bring myself to actually pull a move. I was just waiting for the fiendish foe of fate to find us and tear us apart.

 

But luckily for Miss Fate, she needed not intervene. My over-analytical abilities stepped right up to give me the jitters, get me nervous and push my heart out of the kill zone. Buuuuuuuut, I still hung out with her. Recipe for disaster.

 

Yup. I(‘m/was) that guy.

 

Well one day, this frazzled girl, perplexed by my peculiar conduct had enough. She told me to come outside.

 

I complied.

 

She opened her car door and as I went to give her a hug, she grabbed by face, pushed me up against the car and kissed me.

 

I mean she really kissed me.

 

For the first time since I could remember….I…was…speechless.

 

Like….

Nothing.

 

After about 20 blinks, I looked down and saw that I had an ice cream pop in my hand. I merely held it up and said, “So…do you want the rest of this?”

 

Annnnnnd, now, ladies and gentlemen–(if you don’t mind the assumption that there will be more than one girl and one boy who read this post), if you haven’t figured out why my mother is not surprised that I’m single–you know.

 

I then proceeded to do the worst thing I could possibly do…act like nothing happened. I tried to pretend like everything was back to normal, and after two weeks of silent treatment, I knew that we needed to chat. We did, cleared the air and communicated in a ‘convectional’ way about how we probably are better friends than anything else and to this day we remain great friends.
But I will always respect a girl who is willing to put (herself) out to see if there is a way out of the friend-zone death spiral. Because when you pull a move like that, it is either going to just frost the cake, or turn the oven off. Either way, you leave the friend-zone and enter either a true friendship or a semi-sweet bitterness. But hey, at least you don’t have to wait to find out.

forever a lone

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