Archive for the ‘Friends’ Category

If I were Rich, I would be Married…but Not for the Reason You Think

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dating rich people

A few years ago I had a startup. It got some good publicity, I was working with some huge companies and it was a lot of fun.

 

Then I found out that my main competitor sold for $80million to Facebook.

 

Ugh.

 

While things turned out fine with my company, it never was sold for that many commas.

 

I have, from time to time, imagined what my life would have been like had my company been the one to sell for $80M.

 

One thing is almost for sure: I’d be married already.

 

…but not for the reason you think.

 

I wouldn’t be married because I would have found some gold digger, but rather because more girls would have given me a chance.

 

See, I know that there are people whom I could have married (granted, I’m SO GRATEFUL I didn’t so that I could meet someone as incredible as my fiancee), but they just never gave things a shot when I was in the right place.

 

While money wouldn’t have bought them, it might have helped them to go on one more date, keep their mind open a little bit more, ignore some of the stories and preconceived notions of what a small-time dating blogger might be like. We might have fallen in love and gotten married. But it wasn’t until Annie that the right girl gave it the right shot at the right time…and I still don’t have $80M.

 

Now here is where it comes down to what is important: YOU!

 

All I’m saying is this: there are people, whom you probably already know, that you can marry, if you just give it a shot. Pretend as if they do have all the money you could ever want and ask yourself if you would honestly try just one more time.

 

So look over to your friend list, overlook your initial impressions and really look it over. Keep your heart open to the possibility and just give it one more honest chance to find love. I’m not saying find some tatted up crazy person and try to fall in love, but don’t be so scared because someone isn’t as attractive, isn’t as funny, isn’t as dynamic or isn’t as rich. You may just be seeing things wrong.

 

Because they might not be a millionaire…but, I think it was in the Bible or Gandhi or something who penned the ever-true words, “Money can’t buy me love.”

 

 

 

Stop NOT Being You in Dating

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fake happy dating

 

I have a friend who liked the rock climbing type of guys. She loved their look and demeanor and so she always went rock climbing and told everyone it was one of her favorite things.

 

Well one day she met a rock climber who liked her back. They went rock climbing a ton together. It was like, “their thing.”

 

And guess what? They fell in love and got married.

 

Turns out though, rock climbing wasn’t exactly her favorite thing.  In fact, she didn’t like to rock climb at all and after they got married, she refused to go. She misascribed her love of men to a love of the wall.

 

They stayed married, but it was a rocky start (*tehehe*).

 

Now…it is okay to have a type and to do things that your type would be at. Actually, I think that is a fantastic idea, BUUUUUUT, stay true.

 

It is critical to find someone who loves you for being you.

Not who you think you are.

Not who you hope you could be.

Not who you think someone else wants you to be.

 

Why trick someone into marrying NOT you?

 

Take inventory of your life and ask yourself this question, “If I completely started over with friends, town and even family, what would I do for fun?”

 

I have too many friends who are waiting to really be themselves until they get married. They hide porn addictions, Netflix binges, crappy eating habits, messy bedrooms, cursing issues and are generally falsely accommodating to get to where they think they need to be.

 

No one thinks you’re perfect and no one has interests that match up perfectly.

 

That is okay.

 

No, that is good!

 

But, please, let’s all just drop the act and (as I’ve said before) stop lying in dating. This isn’t a race to cross some fictional finish line of marriage, it is a journey to find someone who can take you…just as you are…and grow with you into something more than you might ever be alone.
Because sometimes, falling in love can be hard…especially when you find out you don’t have a belayer to help catch you.

 

 

4 Steps to UN-Friend-Zone Someone

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friend zone people

 

Maybe they’re out of your league.

Maybe you are scared of rejection.

…or maybe everyone just assumes you’re gay.

 

Whatever the reason, you’ve taken a perfectly good dating prospect and friend-zoned them. You put the quarantine signs of “Radioactively Unavailable” in your yard and no amount of milk shake is going to bring the boys (or girls) back.

 

I recently received an email from a young lady who has spent so long friend-zoning every eligible male around her that she cannot help but come to the realization that yes, indeed, the cats of singlehood are scraping at her door.

 

She, thinking that me having a blog on dating means I know anything about dating, asked me what she should do.

 

So I looked at the times in my life and my close friends’ lives when they have been able to get out of the friend zone and put together 4 steps to un-friend-zone someone. There are 2 STOP’s and 2 START’s.

 

  1. STOP talking about other relationships. I had a dear friend who was one of the most internally and externally attractive people on the face of this earth. We would always talk about each other’s interests until one day I told her that I was done talking about other relationships and thought that we should just have one ourselves. While it didn’t go over that well…at least I wasn’t wasting either of our times. Which brings me to my next point…
  2. STOP pretending you will stay friends. Look, in 5 years you and that (un)special someone will either be married or not talking. It is possible on rare occasions to have friends after marriage of former interests because there is always an exception, I can safely say—you’re not it.
  3. START believing you deserve more. You have to first believe that you CAN get them and deserve it. None of this self-pity. You deserve to be treated well and feel lucky.
  4. START showing interest. Flirt, get them to ask you out (girls) or ask them out (boys), put in a movie and cuddle…or just, ya know…kiss them. Seriously. It works super well (sometimes for some people).

 

Now if they still don’t respond, remember the golden rule, either they aren’t interested or they are too dumb for you to have kids with…and nobody needs that.

 

So this is your friendly reminder to start and stop putting down the walls and let them in…milk shakes optional.

 

 

 

 


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