Stop NOT Being You in Dating

by | Dates. Friends. Marriage

fake happy dating

 

I have a friend who liked the rock climbing type of guys. She loved their look and demeanor and so she always went rock climbing and told everyone it was one of her favorite things.

 

Well one day she met a rock climber who liked her back. They went rock climbing a ton together. It was like, “their thing.”

 

And guess what? They fell in love and got married.

 

Turns out though, rock climbing wasn’t exactly her favorite thing.  In fact, she didn’t like to rock climb at all and after they got married, she refused to go. She misascribed her love of men to a love of the wall.

 

They stayed married, but it was a rocky start (*tehehe*).

 

Now…it is okay to have a type and to do things that your type would be at. Actually, I think that is a fantastic idea, BUUUUUUT, stay true.

 

It is critical to find someone who loves you for being you.

Not who you think you are.

Not who you hope you could be.

Not who you think someone else wants you to be.

 

Why trick someone into marrying NOT you?

 

Take inventory of your life and ask yourself this question, “If I completely started over with friends, town and even family, what would I do for fun?”

 

I have too many friends who are waiting to really be themselves until they get married. They hide porn addictions, Netflix binges, crappy eating habits, messy bedrooms, cursing issues and are generally falsely accommodating to get to where they think they need to be.

 

No one thinks you’re perfect and no one has interests that match up perfectly.

 

That is okay.

 

No, that is good!

 

But, please, let’s all just drop the act and (as I’ve said before) stop lying in dating. This isn’t a race to cross some fictional finish line of marriage, it is a journey to find someone who can take you…just as you are…and grow with you into something more than you might ever be alone.
Because sometimes, falling in love can be hard…especially when you find out you don’t have a belayer to help catch you.

 

 

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