I have had a few people ask me, ‘Why no valentines day post?’
Well a few months ago I was interviewed by an awesome guy about my love life (He is the guy doing Six Till Engaged…check out his project on fbook). And I came to the conclusion that…perhaps, I was not actually looking for love.
Oh sure, I was going on dates, treating girls well, talking about crushes with my roommates, gathering up blogging material…but when it came down to it, I don’t think there was a real need for love in my life.
I see two reasons why people wouldn’t want to fall in love:
1. Don’t want to be hurt
2. Don’t want to be disturbed
I remember after going through a tough period of emotional pain, I shut people out. I wouldn’t let anyone in who wasn’t already there. ‘Can’t come in, but welcome to leave’ mentality (REEEEEeeal healthy). If this is you…go see a therapist. Seriously. I think everyone should. I can refer you to the one I saw if you need a good rec.
Now if you don’t want to be disturbed–if you are having too much fun being single….then I know of a few really fun vacations we need to go on this summer. …wait sorry, I’m recovering….no. No, if that is you, then you are in an elite club of selfish sissies. Welcome. Let me tell you about some of the benefits of the club. You get to live your life free from worries of another frustration and heart ache. You get all the amenities you would like. Your money is spent by only you. You can eat whatever and whenever you want. You are your own master. It feels great.
Some things to keep in mind though: no one cares when you leave or if you come back.
I recently went on a bunch of business trips with my married friends. It was interesting to see them get called a few times a day and texted asking when they were getting home. I never got one. Now I’m not being pouty, but I just stating how it was.
So I started thinking, ‘How great would that be to have someone care where I was and when I got home? How great would it be to miss someone and care where they are?’
And that was my turning point.
So now, two years after my application to The Mormon Bachelor and a week after vday, I want to feel love again.
My sole desire to be loved has overcome my love of being solo and desirable.
I hope yours has too.