I was talking to one of my friends recently about her dating life.
She has been having a hard time.
And granted, she probably should.
After all, she is a pretty bad dater.
“Zack, I feel like there is a big neon sign saying ‘I Suck.’” she said, almost in tears, “I don’t know how to play the dating game. Can you teach me?”
As I was contemplating what I could say to her to impart, if but a parcel, of my bounteous wisdom [insert ‘gafaugh’ in an nasally pretentiously obnoxious laugh] in dating…I had a realization that stung me to the core with honest introspection.
All of the things that make her really bad at dating…make for a really good spouse and parent.
She is genuine.
She puts time into things.
She throws her whole heart into any relationship.
She is committed.
She is generous.
She is kind.
All of the things that someone may do to be “good” at dating…make for really crappy spouse and parent.
They use manipulation.
They pretend to be too busy.
They hold back their emotions.
They keep options open.
They get physical.
They don’t care.
One must ask, “What is the POINT of dating?”
Now there are the things that people do along the way, but the end game, the honeypot of dating…really, what is the point of dating?
And a good one, at that.
Let’s stop playing the dating game. Let’s start playing for keeps. Let’s unlearn the dating game.
So what was my advice to her?
While she may not go on as many dates, may not be as good of a flirt and might not appear to be as self confident as others who are ‘professionals’ at the dating game…she is much closer to marriage than any of them.
No, that sign certainly isn’t for her.
So if you are a good person, don’t worry about being a bad dater.
Daters gunna date (date date date date so shake it off).
The rest…well, I’m pretty sure that is what marriage is for.