3 Things to Do When Your Interest Isn’t Interested in You

by | Dates

if they aren't interested

 

A dear friend of mine, let’s call her, Lilac, was interested in this boy. After a few dates, she realized that she wasn’t interested and sent him a text letting him know. Not only was he incredibly rude, but bitter and childish, informing her that he was about as good as she could get and that she was a [insert non-BowlofOates-appropriate-word-here] for leading him on.

 

This kid is a real class act.

 

She texted me their conversation and suggested a post about it. I couldn’t agree more.

 

But estrogen-infused reader beware: THIS ADVICE IS FOR BOTH MEN AND WOMEN! I don’t want any women sitting back being like, ‘Yeah, ew. Why don’t boys do this?!’ Women need to put forth a little effort as well in letting the guy know they are interested.

 

So what do you do if they aren’t interested and you are?

 

  1. Go for it. Yeah, you heard me. Win them over. Charm them with your personality. Dazzle them with your humour. Intrigue them with your mystery. (Just buying them something nice can work too)
  2. Go with it. You put forth effort, now see how they respond. (If I hear of one more person NOT adhering to the three point rule, I think I’m going to scream.)
  3. Go from it. Go from it a better person…REGARDLESS if they reciprocate or not.

 

Go from it with gratitude if they become interested.

 

Go from it with no malice if they stay uninterested. That doesn’t mean that you can’t be friends, but ONLY if you can handle it. Realize that just because they don’t like you doesn’t make them a bad person and it certainly doesn’t say ANYthing of your worth.

 

We’ve all had that one time that someone liked us and they were great and nice and fun…but we just weren’t into them?

 

Did that make them a bad person?

Did that make us satan’s spawn?

 

No! (not necessarily)

 

It is just part of dating.

 

And while it is a tough pill to swallow, it is true: dating NEVER works……….until it does.


So remember to give it a shot then be happy with the miss or the hit. Go for it, go with it then from from it…and I’m sure you’ll go far.

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  • McKell Dalton

    Zack you did it again! Always hit the nail on the head. I love that you say to just go for it. Because that’s so true, in this game of life we have to take some risks. And while it may be scary it can totally be worth it. I was interested in a guy a couple months back and put myself out there. I wasn’t sure if he felt the same but he was doing things like planning our next date, etc. So I thought I was in! But, after following the “3 point rule” and not hearing back from him, I knew I was toast. Maybe he really just wasn’t as in to me as I thought. Did my world come crashing to an end? No, of course not. I learned some things and moved on. I should ask a clarifying question on your 3 point rule, Zack. What if it’s three text messages without hearing anything back? Am I still out? Or do I need to switch up my forms of communication before giving up all hope?

    • Zack Oates

      Oh man…well i like to switch things up. I always try to do multiple forms of communication to accumulate points, but whatever your style, stick to 3 points!