“The things I love about my husband are actually the the things that frustrate me most about him.”
I was speaking to one of my best friend’s mother when she dropped that one on me. She had such a happy and loving marriage and I wanted to know how I could build a relationship like theirs.
She continued, “See, I love how charitable he is, but when money is super tight and he is paying for other people’s dinners and helping out people financially, it is a bit stressful for me.”
In my life I’ve realized a similar truth.
The very reason I was attracted to the women I date is often the reason we break up.
I love women who are ambitious! They think, plan, dream, believe, act and achieve. They are so impressive…to a point that it is irritating. They are so independent that they don’t need me, don’t call back often and are so busy with their lives and being pursued by so many other people that I often walk away.
I love women who are kind! They are so caring and gentle and always let others shine in groups. They are so wonderful…that I can’t stand it. They can be boring or pushovers and are always seeking to agree.
This is a truth regardless of man or woman. It just is.
Those who are energetic can be annoying.
Those who are passionate can argue too much.
Those who are funny can tease ad nauseum.
Those who are spiritual can be self-righteous.
Well then…what are we to do?
So far, my plan seems to be to break up or sabotage…that’s worked out super well.
As I was considering this recently, I remembered the end of the conversation with my friend’s mother where she put it all in perspective, “I just need to decide that the things I love are more important than the things that frustrate me.”
Basically, as simply as a Thomas Monson said, “Choose your love, and love your choice.”