5 Reasons They Pulled the FADE on You

by | Break ups

the fade relationships

Things are going great with that special someone.

 

The first few dates have been fun, regular between texting, and during your last get together—I mean shoot, you even planned your next date.

 

Who knows, maybe you’ve even kissed.

 

Then…it happens.

 

Like a dandelion slowly floating away piece by piece…the inevitable demise becomes clear.

 

They start to become busier.

Texting back becomes more rare.

Voice message returns are non-existent. (plus, who leaves voice mails…honestly! What is this, like the 1700’s?)

The “next date” is canceled the day before.

 

Then…silence.

 

No breakup.

No talk.

No explanation.

 

Yes, my friend, you’ve just been faded.

 

You have nothing left but a seedless weed of a relationship. But hey…it could be worse. I mean, it could have worked out. But that is a post for another day.

 

And while you might think you are overanalyzing…

They might have their reasons.

 

You might be a bad kisser.

They might have found out about your dating blog.

You might be roommates with their ex.

They might have found someone else.

 

And while you might be heartbroken…

They might be over it.

 

But why do people pull the fade?

  1. They don’t want to blow it out of proportion. It wasn’t a big deal. You weren’t official. Why make it something it never was?
  2. It is too late. By the time they realized they weren’t interested, it had been too long and it would have been awkward to go back.
  3. They are scared. They don’t want to face the potential frustration.
  4. You are scary. Yeah. You just may be.
  5. You are imagining it. They really are just super busy right now or maybe they are in the hospital and you just haven’t found out so you might as well hold onto hope and keep calling and texting them because then they will finally realize that you are amazing and fall in love with you and you should definitely over analyze it and talk about it with everyone that doesn’t ask but you imagine that they because the more you talk about it the better the situation gets. Yeah. That’s probably it. Let me know how that works out for you. #harshsarcasticreality

 

So reasons aside, what do you do it if you are getting the fade?

 

Let the Three Point Rule be your guide and move on. After all, if things are going to work out, it will be because THEY realize how much they miss you and not because you are trying to run around catching pieces of what once could have been.

Posted on:

  • Debra Hatfield

    I don’t really mind being blown off here and there and guys too often don’t get ‘hints’ and need to know a formula or two.

    Guys are more likely to just keep going after a girl because she’s trying to be nice and he believes her “i’m busy” statements. But the guys on the other hand, who have dated a girl, decide that they think she’s not skinny enough to marry or left a bread crumb on the table and it was strike- out on the marriable list; too often will decide they aren’t going to pursue her anymore, but still find her attractive and play the “I still want you, I just don’t WANT you” game, well.. PLAY- her..

    Personal story, this sly guy blew off a date, no- NOT the day before, no, no… I was working a graveyard shift job 20 plus hours a week, then 40 hours at a trade school, so when he set up an evening and said we’d go on a date, but left the time in the air… he wasn’t that cute, at all, anywho, he texts me LATE at night, I could have been doing other things, like studying, or… hanging out with friends, having FUN, he texts me at 10pm, as I’ve waited and waited for him to say he was off work and whatnot- to say sorry, he decided to play volleyball instead. Jerk, right? He was the type of guy that would flirt online, but in person he was incredibly shy too, almost endearing, but I’d had enough, I quote “He’s Just not that Into You” and tell him I know it ain’t happening, no more flirting, no more casual hangout’s or dates, he’s flaked two times before (I had already cut things off before when he’d done something similar, but he’d apologized repeatedly), and what does He do? Other than implying that I was fat through email, apologizes and says he still wants to date me, just not exlusively…

    I think the fade is okay, if it just… fades… but the guys who use it as a game to treat women like trash, to never cut things off, and just use women, those men are emotionally abusive and should go to therapy. Me, I’m a heck of a lot more confident and not sleep deprived and don’t put up with what I don’t deserve. It all still, again, boils down to insecurity, if it’s not a solid relationship yet, and you’re confident, you can fade them as they fade you, but ignoring someone and being cold will translate into ALL your other relationships and becoming a habitual ‘cold heart’ will ruin you or force you into deep therapy to find out why you have no soul……..

    • Zack Oates

      WOW!! I’ve realized that when people are inconsiderate and/or poor communicators, it is tough going for anything serious.