It was 2008 and I was really like this girl.
It was our third date and I thought it went well…so I decided to ask her out for another.
She turned to me, looked away and then down at her feet.
I assumed she was racking her mind as to how to cancel her other dates so she could spend more time with me.
I assumed wrong.
“Zack…” she started with a slight stutter, “you’re like a wet keg of gunpowder. Everything is there, but there is just no spark.”
I can’t say that I was devastated, but certainly discouraged. I mean, I only found a girl I even liked once or twice a year–and this was one of them.
After an awkward last doorstep scene, I got into my car and started to pray.
I prayed to find out why I was still single, how much longer I would be single, why dating was so hard and why things just never seemed to work out for me.
In that moment I felt a prompting that was so strong, it was almost like a voice. “Zack, it will all work out. Don’t worry. Your wife will be worth it.”
I knew my patriarchal blessing told me I’d get married, I knew people always said I would get married, I knew that God wanted me to get married…but in that moment in that car, by myself—it was just me and God. That prayer filled me with a peace that kept me going…for another 8 years.
Now don’t feel too bad for me. Dating wasn’t painful.
Oh sure, dating was fun. But make no mistake about it—fun and loneliness are no strangers to each other.
At times the thin threads of loneliness are so delicately interwoven with the fabric of fun that they are almost an indistinguishable veil separating reality from our emotions.
But keeping that perspective that “the eternal purposes of the Lord shall roll on, until all his promises shall be fulfilled (Mormon 8:22) and that “great things await you” (Doc&Cov 45:62) helped keep me going.
And when things got hard and loneliness started to take the center stage of my mind, I remembered the words of God, “Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee” (Isaiah 41:10).
And so to you, if you are wondering what your future holds, just hold on. It will all work out. Don’t worry. Your life will be worth it.